Gloria D. Gonsalves
I Mean to Say
I mean to say, English is not my mother tongue
and collecting new words is necessary for learning.
I mean to say, some generous people have compiled a list
of war terms for new and future learners like myself.
I mean to say, a howitzer sounds like how are you
but it is a weapon between a canon and mortar.
I mean to say, St. Javelin sounds like a blessing arrow
but this one saint can destroy armored vehicles and tanks.
I mean to say, orcs are characters from my favorite movie
but it is a pejorative word used by one army toward another.
I mean to say, Finlandization is not a process of being a Finn
but siding with the most powerful to keep your peace.
I mean to say, I could imagine other -izations even in my life
but it did not always keep my peace, or caused others suffering.
I mean to say, Z is no longer a letter for a zebra or zucchini,
but it also means supporting the war by a particular country.
I mean to say, bibi is a Kiswahili word for grandmother,
but is also a nickname of a minister who might be a grandfather.
I mean to say, an iron dome is not a church roof made of iron
but a system that analyzes incoming missiles and destroys them.
I mean to say, kneecapping might sound like knee protection
but it is a deliberate act of crippling by shooting at their kneecap.
I mean to say, kneecapping reminds me of deadheading
but deadheading is clear that the (flower) head is dead.
I mean to say, terra nullius is not even English but Latin,
which is nobody’s land and is up for grabs through peace or war.
I mean to say, a veto is like a stamp on an envelope,
but the consequences of such a letter are beyond the receiver.
I mean to say, stop the war is not the same as ceasefire
and the UN has seven words for pauses in fighting only.
I mean to say, I am not even a military person or spouse
but the military lingo is fast becoming part of my literature.
I mean to say, if you ask me to expand on the meanings,
you will be sending me to another spree of doomscrolling.
I mean to say, I don’t need an online spree but I need words.
“The ongoing conflicts worldwide have had a profound impact on my conscious and subconscious mind, compelling me to absorb the unfolding developments in the conflict zones. Social media is also facilitating the militarization of my mind.” —Gloria D. Gonsalves
Gloria D. Gonsalves is a writer and an emerging sketch artist of Tanzanian descent. Her writing has appeared in various literary magazines, journals, and anthologies in Africa, Europe, and the USA. She has four poetry collections, most recently “Even Flowers Know That Water Is Useless Without Roots.” Besides writing, she is also the founder of WoChiPoDa.com, an initiative aimed at instilling a love of poetry in children. She lives in Germany.